When we were kids, we continuously dreamed of being an actor, a firefighter, a pilot, a princess, a queen, a football player, a gamer or whatever caught our fancy at the time. Time flew by, our dreams drowned in the downpour of life and most of us ended up with a life far from what we wanted to be. If you are one of the ones who actually chased their dreams and ended up with the life you always wanted, kudos to you!
For the rest of us, the harsh reality is that we could never make our life what we wanted it to be and somewhere along the line, we kind of settled into our daily routine life. However, deep within each one of us, the flame was still alight, even if it hardly cast a light on our hopes and aspirations.
Life moved on, we became adults and soon we became parents of a cute little kid or two. Initially we were awe struck at these marvelous little version of ourselves and were fascinated just being around them. We marveled at their ability to laugh, play, learn and just enjoy life. Their uncanny ability to get knocked down, pick themselves up and carry on as if nothing happened. Seeing these little wonders, all parents try to guess what their little one will be when he or she grows up.
Again time flows by and our little kids are not so little anymore. They start resembling the parents even more and parents start seeing themselves more and more in their kids. This is when a radical shift occurs within most parents. A big "WHAT IF" starts growing within parents and this gives seed to a new hope and a sense of achievement.
WHAT IF MY CHILD COULD BECOME WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE!?!?!?!
This question gnaws at the soul of parents and they start dreaming of seeing their children in the life that they always wanted to see themselves in. Most parents start pushing their children into the same direction they wanted themselves to be in but never could or never did. You wanted to get into MIT but didn't or could not, you start pushing your child to study hard so that they can. You wanted to be a footballer but didn't have the necessary skills so you start pushing your child towards it. You wanted to be a rock start at work, working with the top MNCs around the globe, so you start pushing your children in that direction. There are countless of such examples everywhere.
Its all too common and most parents do it out of the belief that, that is what best for their children. After all, who would know better than the parent, having years of knowledge and the first hand experience of the reality of life!
Though there is nothing wrong with this, it begs us to ask a few simple questions.
Do you as a parent even consider what your child wants with his or her life?
Have you exposed them to all the possibilities in this world and not just what you wanted?
Is it whats really best for your child?
Just because you could not or did not achieve your dreams, is it justified to seek a second chance in your children? Have your children just become a way to fulfill your dream and you are seeking your own inner satisfaction rather than that of your child?
Yes, it may be true that through our DNA, our children inherit our best qualities and often excel at it, so it might be much easier for them to achieve what we wanted to do. They might even think that that's the only choice ahead of them, because of the limited exposure given to them.
The question still arises though, is it what they want? Have you as a parent, given them all the exposure you can and then tried to see where their interest really lies in and what they are really good at? Are your motives self driven or driven by your child?
Being a parent is tough and life is even tougher. Our children do give us second chances in most things we got wrong and gives us a chance to correct them in their lives. Its just sad to see that many parents push their children in a direction, only for their own satisfaction and because they want a second chance to achieve their dreams.
Parents, please stop for a minute and see what your children truly want with their life. Give them the exposure and let them decide for themselves.
Be their guiding light rather than their steering wheel.
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