Value of Life

As I am writing this post, a dramatic series of events are occurring in my hometown, Mumbai (India). For the past 40 hours, Mumbai has been under terrorist attack.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/26_November_2008_Mumbai_attacks

Many lives have been lost and many lives have been permanently scarred by these events. Makes me think 'How much do we really value our lives?'

Don't we take our freedom and life for granted? We are always fussing over petty things and not focusing on the real issues of life. Until such horrendous situations occur, we do not sit up and take notice. We start to realise the value of love, friendship, family and happiness only in times of dire situations. What happens then? For the next few days we 'wake up' and see the world in a different light. We begin to appreciate the things which really matter in life, rather than just concentrating on money.

However slowly but surely, we start forgetting all this and start to slip back into our old ways. The hectic life takes over and we are once again back in the rat race. Same habits, same thoughts and same actions take over. We again depreciate the value of life. 

Until again, some day, we are rudely reminded how valuable life is by some unfortunate events.

Why must we wait for these events? Why do we not value our life as if its our last day on Earth? Will we not be happier and more peaceful?

Isn't that the purpose of life? 

Lets unite in these tough times and appreciate the life given to us by God.

Its as Simple as That

Its your life! Nothing can be simpler than that. What you do this moment, slowly makes up your life. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days to months and these months turn into years. They make your life. Not your spouse's, parents, children or anyone else's, but 'YOUR' life. They define you.

What you do, say and think every moment makes you, 'You'. If you want a simple life, don't complicate it. If you want to be happy, don't find reasons to be sad. If you want to be great, go for it. If you want to love, then just love, don't expect to be loved first. If you want peace, first be at peace within.

Life is as simple or as complicated as we make it.

Its YOUR life. Its as simple as that.

Duck Tales

Have you ever seen ducks in real life? They seem to glide effortless through the water. They are in full control and seem one with nature. They seem calm and tranquil.

Viewing this serenity, little do we know how much activity is going on beneath the water. If you take a look underwater, you will immediately see how frantically ducks paddle to stay afloat. They paddle furiously to glide through the water. They never stop. They just go about doing what they have to do. Why do we not notice this? Why do the ducks appear to be so calm and composed, in spite of paddling furiously? In spite of their vigorous activity, the water appears calm. The ducks appear calm.

Isn't this how we humans should be? No matter how hard we are working or how frantically we are trying to stay 'afloat', we should remain calm and should not disturb the environment around us. Whoever views us, should view as a picture of tranquility and peace. 

Doing so will add to your personality and character. People will appreciate you as someone who can stay calm and focused even when situations are difficult. You will be someone who knows how to stay composed in a storm.

No matter how much in turmoil you are within, always try to exhibit control and calmness. Be in control of yourself. Do not show, externally, that you are upset or in turmoil. Show maturity.

Nature teaches us so much, if we only stop to notice.

Emotional Intelligence

Throughout our education years, we are constantly reminded that grades are important. Study hard if you want to get ahead in life. The higher you score, the higher your IQ (Intelligence Quotient). Those with higher IQ's are presumed to be more successful in life than those with average IQs. Even Companies look for this skill when they are recruiting.

Is this really so? Is IQ the only or the major factor which drives success? Certainly, a well trained brain gives you necessary skills to be successful. A good education sharpens ones abilities to do well in life. Go ahead and get the best education you can get. I am all for it.

However I believe that your E.Q (Emotional Quotient) a.k.a. Emotional Intelligence will ultimately decide where you reach in life. EQ is the ability to understand your own emotions and the emotions of people around you. It means that you have a self awareness that enable you to recognise feelings and helps you manage your own emotions, to make good decisions in life.

No matter how intelligent or smart you are, if you have a low E.Q then you will make foolish decisions. You will not be able to channel your life to where you want to reach. Your life will be based on your emotional being. If you are feeling good, then you will perform well. If you are upset then you will make critical errors which will jeopardize your ability to stay focused and your ability to perform.

There is no such thing as a perfect life. We all face problems in some way or the other. Obstacles will always be there. At many times the environment or situation will be adverse. How do you deal with these situations? Are you reactive? Are you unable to handle delicate or tough situations? Do you have huge upheavals of emotions, extreme happiness or extreme sadness? How do you deal with people?

Unless you are able to raise your emotional intelligence, it will be very difficult to really get ahead in life. See the top leaders of the world. They all exhibit remarkable personality, no matter how difficult the situation. They are able to judge rationally and keep negative emotions in check. Nothing seems to rattle them.

I have seen many people, who were always scoring straight "A's" in school. They were always in the top 3 in class. They were very smart and always did well in academics. However these same people are failing in life. They have mediocre jobs with average or even less than average salaries. Even though they did really well in academics, they are now struggling with life, their careers and family life.

Why does this happen? 

Emotional Intelligence is the answer. These people have low EQ's. They are unable to cope with the world and the environment. Left to themselves, they perform well. But in a social environment with multiple factors influencing their lives, they fail. They are reactive. They are unable to plan their life. They make stupid decisions which seriously impair their life's outcome and direction.

I am sure you must have also seen many people like this in your life. People who were gifted as students but are struggling with their life as adults.

Raise your emotional intelligence and see wonders happening.

You Will Never Know Until You Try

• "I will not be able to do it"
  
• "I cannot"
  
• "Not possible"
  
• "No Way"
  
• "Can't"

These are some of the most overused words in our vocabulary. We utter these words before we even try anything new. We fear failure, so we do not even bother trying. We get defensive and back out even before we have stepped into the ring. Already we dread what may happen. We never think that by doing the act, positive things might happen. We just feed our fears and assume only a negative outcome. 

How will you know until you try?

How will you know what you are capable of, until you actually perform the feat? Who knows, you might outshine others and might actually enjoy the same thing you were dreading.

Sure, some first time experiences might not come out good, but that's what life is. You will get sour grapes every once in a while. This should not prevent you from trying out every activity at least once in your life.

The greatest journey begins with a single step. If you do not take that first step, how do you expect to embark on the journey?

Never fuel your fears. In fact use the energy behind the fear, to do the same thing which you fear. If you have been putting off anything because of whatever reason, do it today. Experience it at least once in your life.

Maybe it is public speaking, saying "I Love You" to someone, sky diving, asking for a raise or as simple as trying a new cuisine. Make a list of the things you have always wanted to do, but never got the courage to perform.  Make it right now! Go about doing these things, at least once. 

You will never know until you try.

Mountains Don't Move

Mountains are static by nature. They stay still and pose as huge 'barriers' in our way. They are obstacles of immense magnitude. They are simply huge and overwhelming.

These mountains represent any obstacle, barrier or hurdle we are facing in our lives which seems insurmountable. They pose immense difficulties and problems in our lives. We focus all our energies in trying to move these 'mountains' from our life. We feel that if use all our strength, these mountains will simply pack their bags and go away.

You are wrong. Mountains do not move. They will stay where they are. So what do we do?

Instead of trying to move mountains, you must try to move your life so that you leave the mountain far behind. These mountains must never come back in your life. If you simply move the mountain, then sooner or later you are bound to bump into it again! You do not want the same problems repeating again and again in your life.

The only course for you is to either plough through the mountain or drive around it. Imagine your life as a journey in a car. On route to your destination, you will encounter mountains of different sizes. Do you get up and try to move the mountain or do you just drive through it (tunnels) or drive around it (winding mountain roads)?

Same is with life. Drive through problems or drive around them. Go ahead with your life so that these 'mountains of problems' do not effect you again. 

For example, if the lack of financial security is your 'mountain', then raise your income to a level wherein this mountain is left far behind. By taking a loan or a temporary second job will not solve the problem. You are simply just trying to move the 'mountain'. Sooner or later you will bump into it again. Only solution is to plough through your financial limitation and get financially secure. Build income generating assets or investments yielding returns which are over and above your monthly needs. That way you leave the 'mountain' far behind.

Mountains are an inseparable part of the journey of life. You will encounter them. When you do, make sure you know how to get ahead.

Exercise to get Smarter

We all know that exercise is good for us. Yet how many of actually exercise regularly? Sure, almost all of us have been to the gym or 'tried' walking around the park for exercise. We do it religiously for a month and expect miracles to happen. Then we just drop it and become lazy again.

The New York Times reports that exercise can make your brain process information faster and more efficiently. To quote from the article "Scientists have been finding more evidence that the human brain is not only capable of renewing itself but that exercise speeds the process. "We've always known that our brains control our behaviour," Gage says, "but not that our behaviour could control and change the structure of our brains."

Interesting isn't it!

If you have ever exercised before, have you noticed that once you get through the initial breaking in period, you actually start to feel more energetic and full of bounce throughout the day? Your body simply seems to move faster, you can do more things and you can even think better. Regular exercise simply makes you less susceptible to illness. When we are ill, our minds cloud and we cannot perform to our best. Proof again that exercise makes you perform smarter.

With regular exercise, your mind is more active and you will perform much better in all activities, physical or mental. The fact that you will look physically appealing is icing on the cake! 

So lets be smarter and look better starting from today.

Learning from Children

We often undervalue the value of children. We feel that only children can learn from us and only we can teach them. You are greatly mistaken. We adults can learn a lot from children.

For starters, children view the world very differently. Their imagination knows no boundaries. They truly 'Think out of the box'. For them, nothing is impossible. Everything around them is a mystery waiting to be explored. No challenge is too big or obstacle too large. To achieve their target, they will use the most ingenious ways. Ever tried hiding a jar of cookies from a child? He/She will find it and reach it no matter what. Hows that for achieving targets?

Ever lost anything in your house? Ask your child. He will tell you where you kept your car keys. They are very observant. Nothing escapes their little eyes. They take in what they want to see and ignore the rest. That's filtration at its best! We as adults as so inundated with useless thoughts and actions. They know what they want and they know how to get it!

They live simple, uncomplicated lives. If they get hurt, they cry for a while and then bounce back with the same ferocity as before. Moments later they are laughing again. We adults get upset over something, we sulk for hours and even days over it. How does that help us?

They are infinite sources of energy. You and me, we get tired after a days work. Your child is jumping around the whole day and still wants to play with you when you are ready to tuck in at night!

They learn at an amazing rate. They never seem to forget things. They know what is right and what is wrong. They will go out of their way to help you and will not even wait for a thanks. They just do their part and move on. Is this how we behave?

The other day I did something wrong. I lost my temper and was behaving very unreasonably. My son, who is only one and a half years old, immediately shook his finger at me and said "Papa, No". He hasn't even started speaking full sentences, yet he was a better judge than me. Thats their beauty.

They are never afraid to correct you if you are wrong. They have no fears. How many of us can say that? In fact, we adults instill fear in children. 

They correctly say that children are a direct reflection of God. They will teach you so much, if only we are open to learning from them.

With children, life is truly a beautiful adventure.

Negativity

Negativity is like a plague. It destroys you swiftly and silently. You do not even come to know when it starts effecting you and soon it completely takes over your life.

Negative people and a negative environment will creep up upon you, no matter what you do. These will eventually burden you down. They will destroy all creativity and happiness within you. They will rob you of the simple joys of life. They will turn you into a negative person.

Avoid negative people at any cost. These are the people who are always talking about other people faults. For these people, the grass is always greener on the other side. They always talk as if they are a victim and how bad this world is. They always see the dark side of life and the dark side of people. Everyone except them is to blame and is at fault. They are doing their best. Its the other person who is the problem. They feel they are 'smarter' than everyone else.

Another form of negativity is, when it arises because of your own self. This happens when you become negative by nature. Negativity is a parasite. At first we get immense ego satisfaction from it. You truly feel you are superior to other people. However, slowly but surely it will eat you up. It will feed off you and grow stronger, at the same time making you weak. All your energy becomes focused on negative thinking, negative statements and eventually leads to a negative lifestyle. Opportunities will fly by your face and you will not even recognise them because you are too busy criticizing the world or someone. 

I recommend everyone to read "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. Its an amazing book.

When you are positive your dreams can come true. Negativity, in any form, hacks away at these same dreams. You exist but remain a fraction of whom you can truly become.

Be positive every single moment of your life. Its the greatest gift you can give to yourself.

Be the Miracle

The other day I was watching a movie on HBO called "Bruce Almighty". Its about this guy who is always complaining to God, so God simply gives him all his powers. After being God for a while, the guy (played by Jim Carrey) realises the truth and ends up saying "Be the Miracle". 

Powerful thought.

We are always hoping for a miracle to happen. We believe that God will somehow come and solve our problems, he will somehow make the impossible possible. 

What we do not realise is that we are the miracle. Miracles do happen, but they happen because of YOU! Gods power is always behind us. We just have to unleash the force within and anything can happen. God is within each and everyone of us. His infinite power is within us. We just need to tap into it.

All problems have solutions. These solutions are within us. We just have to reach out and touch them. We can make anything happen, if we want it badly enough. If we are focused, honest in our intentions and truly committed, miracles happen.

Be good to people, speak good words and do good deeds. Always try to help people in need. Who knows, 'YOU' might be the miracle they are waiting to happen? Who knows how someone else's life might change because of you. You might be the miracle for them?

Make magic happen for yourself and everyone around you.

You want miracles to happen? Go! Be the Miracle!

Suffocation

There are times in life when a person seems to get suffocated. Everything seems to close around you. It becomes difficult to function normally, thinking goes haywire, logic goes out of the window and the world just seems to weigh down upon us.

Have any of you experienced this, at some point in your lives? I am sure you have. There are times when no matter what you do, you are unable to get out of the situation. You are stuck and really feel helpless and bound.

Your mind starts getting myopic and you cannot see the beauty around you. Even though you are aware of the opportunities before you and what you have to do, you are unable to boost yourself up. The smallest of things starts giving stress and you really become out of tune with who you truly are. Anger, frustration and irritation seem a normal part of your day.

What do we do in these situations? I really feel that this is where the love and support of your loved ones comes into play. When you are unable to smile for yourself, you need someone or something to make you smile. 

A change of scenario will also do wonders. Sometimes we get so wrapped in day to day affairs that it robs us of the simple delights of nature. Take a walk in the woods or go for an adventure holiday. Get in touch with nature. Change the pace of your life. If you live a fast paced life, slow down. Enjoy with your kids. Recharge your batteries with the unlimited power of our planet.

These are times when you need to give your mind a break. Try meditating. Try easing off the worries from your life, at least for an hour a day. 

Learn to relax. Remember its not the end of the world and there will always be a new tomorrow.

You are what you Eat

If you are fat, its because of your eating habits. If you are unhealthy, its because you have made choices in food, lifestyle and other habits that have contributed to you being unhealthy. 

No matter how much you exercise or workout, if you do not get your eating habits straight, you will simply not make good gains. Losing weight or getting fit is 20% exercise and 80% what you eat.

Junk in is junk out. What you eat, fuels your body. Eat junk food and your body will turn to junk. Eat wisely and your body will reward you. 

Stay off diets! They will only result in temporary weight loss. Besides they are not healthy. Be wiser. Be careful of what you eat. Try to get nutritious, natural foods which include lots of vegetables and fruits. Avoid fried foods as they unnecessarily add calories. Do not abstain from eating your favourite chocolate, just consume less of it and in smaller quantities.

Eat more frequent meals, in smaller quantities. I recommend eating every 3 hours. If you are in the habit of eating 3 meals a day, split each meal and consume it in two parts. Space each part by 3 hours. Your metabolism will sour which will lead to a fitter you!

Ideally, you should be consuming:
50% Carbs

30% Proteins

20% Fats

Yes, that's right! Fats are essential for your well being. They will NOT contribute to your gaining fat. You put on fat when you consume more calories than you burn. Pure and simple.

To lose weight, you must burn more calories than you consume.

To gain weight, you must consume more calories than you burn.

Go ahead and eat that all the chocolates you want but just make sure you put in the extra hour or two on the treadmill burning off all those extra calories!

Just the same way as you will not allow anyone to throw garbage into your car, don't allow yourself to put garbage into your body!

Your Choices Define Your Life

We are the product of our choices. We choose who we were, who we are and who we are going to be. Nothing is a matter of chance or a matter of luck. It all boils down to the choices we make in life.

If you were brilliant as a student, it was because you choose to study hard and choose to achieve a certain level for yourself. It has got nothing to do with brainpower or how intelligent you are. If you know that you are not a genius, you can either choose to accept that and get average grades or you can choose to work harder and get A grades. Its always your choice.

Where you are in life today, is a direct result of the choices you made. Even though you might feel you didn't have a choice, you are wrong. You ALWAYS have a choice, no matter what.

You can choose to laugh or cry, you can choose to be fat or super fit, you can choose to be a victim or be a survivor, you can choose to fight or to give up, you can choose to be angry or to be calm, you can choose what you speak, you can choose how you present yourself, you can choose your spouse, you can choose the quality of life you lead, you can choose who you want to be.

You may not always make the right choices but that leads to experience. With more experience you make better choices. Decide what you want out of life whether financially, socially, emotionally or physically and choose to stick with it. Things will eventually work out.

If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life, today, make the choice to rectify it immediately. Don't behave as if you have no choice. There are always choices.

You choose your destiny. Its the greatest power you have.

Value of Sorry

How many times do you end up saying "Sorry" in a day? Though its good to apologise for something we have done wrong, most of us use the 'Sorry' word too liberally. It actually loses its value and becomes as common as answering the phone by saying "Hello".

We do something wrong, we immediately say "sorry". Then we go and repeat the same mistake and say "sorry" again. Are we truly sorry for what we have done? I don't think so. For petty problems and mistakes, its OK to use sorry as an apologetic term. For problems or mistakes of more severe nature, we should truly mean it when we say sorry to someone. We should feel it within us and try not to repeat the same mistake again.

I know some people who just keep on saying sorry and keep doing the same mistakes or causing the same problems over and over again. Their 'sorries' have no value whatsoever because I know that they do not really mean it. Its just like saying 'Hello'.

If you are really sorry, it will show in your eyes and it will show in your actions.

Don't become like the boy who cried 'Wolf!'. Who knows, when you are really sorry, people will not take you seriously.

Its good to apologise for our mistakes, but make sure you do not repeat the same mistakes. Each time you say sorry to someone, you should really mean it from your heart.

Be the Superhero

What if I told you that you are a Superman or Wonderwoman? Not just figuratively, but actually in real life. You will laugh at me right? However, you are indeed a superhero! If you are a parent and have young children, this is especially true. You are their Superman/Wonderwoman! No doubt about it.

There is nothing that you cannot do. You can fly and make them fly along with you, you can make anything happen with your super powers. You are their protector and their strength. You are invincible. You rescue them when they are in trouble. You guide them along their life path. You defeat bad and make everything good. You tuck them safely into bed at night and stand guard over them. You give them strength to be good and do good. You teach them whats right and whats wrong. You can do anything they ask you to do.

Their eyes see you as infallible. You are indeed their superhero. You make magic happen.

Do we live up to this image? Do we behave as superheroes at home or in our lives? We have been given this opportunity, to be real life superheroes. Lets live up to it. Let us not let our children down. Lets always be their Superman or Wonderwoman no matter what.

Be the Superhero!