Second Chances

When we were kids, we continuously dreamed of being an actor, a firefighter, a pilot, a princess, a queen, a football player, a gamer or whatever caught our fancy at the time. Time flew by, our dreams drowned in the downpour of life and most of us ended up with a life far from what we wanted to be. If you are one of the ones who actually chased their dreams and ended up with the life you always wanted, kudos to you!

For the rest of us, the harsh reality is that we could never make our life what we wanted it to be and somewhere along the line, we kind of settled into our daily routine life. However, deep within each one of us, the flame was still alight, even if it hardly cast a light on our hopes and aspirations.

Life moved on, we became adults and soon we became parents of a cute little kid or two. Initially we were awe struck at these marvelous little version of ourselves and were fascinated just being around them. We marveled at their ability to laugh, play, learn and just enjoy life. Their uncanny ability to get knocked down, pick themselves up and carry on as if nothing happened. Seeing these little wonders, all parents try to guess what their little one will be when he or she grows up.

Again time flows by and our little kids are not so little anymore. They start resembling the parents even more and parents start seeing themselves more and more in their kids. This is when a radical shift occurs within most parents. A big "WHAT IF" starts growing within parents and this gives seed to a new hope and a sense of achievement.

WHAT IF MY CHILD COULD BECOME WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE!?!?!?!

This question gnaws at the soul of parents and they start dreaming of seeing their children in the life that they always wanted to see themselves in. Most parents start pushing their children into the same direction they wanted themselves to be in but never could or never did. You wanted to get into MIT but didn't or could not, you start pushing your child to study hard so that they can. You wanted to be a footballer but didn't have the necessary skills so you start pushing your child towards it. You wanted to be a rock start at work, working with the top MNCs around the globe, so you start pushing your children in that direction. There are countless of such examples everywhere.

Its all too common and most parents do it out of the belief that, that is what best for their children. After all, who would know better than the parent, having years of knowledge and the first hand experience of the reality of life!

Though there is nothing wrong with this, it begs us to ask a few simple questions.

Do you as a parent even consider what your child wants with his or her life? 

Have you exposed them to all the possibilities in this world and not just what you wanted?

Is it whats really best for your child?

Just because you could not or did not achieve your dreams, is it justified to seek a second chance in your children? Have your children just become a way to fulfill your dream and you are seeking your own inner satisfaction rather than that of your child?

Yes, it may be true that through our DNA, our children inherit our best qualities and often excel at it, so it might be much easier for them to achieve what we wanted to do. They might even think that that's the only choice ahead of them, because of the limited exposure given to them.

The question still arises though, is it what they want? Have you as a parent, given them all the exposure you can and then tried to see where their interest really lies in and what they are really good at? Are your motives self driven or driven by your child?

Being a parent is tough and life is even tougher. Our children do give us second chances in most things we got wrong and gives us a chance to correct them in their lives. Its just sad to see that many parents push their children in a direction, only for their own satisfaction and because they want a second chance to achieve their dreams.

Parents, please stop for a minute and see what your children truly want with their life. Give them the exposure and let them decide for themselves. 

Be their guiding light rather than their steering wheel.

Why I stopped checking Facebook

It was the year 2007 and there was this new and awesome social network called Facebook. Every one who was someone was signing up and joining the network. Checking Facebook feed soon became the first thing to do upon waking up, every morning.

It was pretty fantastic in a lot of ways. You could connect with your friends and family from around the world. Long lost friends were found and memories relived. Everyone was sharing their vacation and daily pics on Facebook and good wishes poured started pouring in on birthdays and anniversaries! Wow! Seems too good isn't it?

Fast forward to 2018. The novelty has long worn off and the actual reality has sunk in. Even though we might have 1000+ 'friends' on FB, how many of them do you truly know or would wake up at 2am for you? Are you really content on being wished by every FB friend of yours, just because they were reminded that its your birthday, by FB? Or would you rather choose to being wished by those who actually remembered on their own and took the time to personally call or message you?

Let's not even get into wedding anniversaries! I've personally seen couples wish each other more romantically and enthusiastically on FB and just emote a perfunctory 'Happy Anniversary' to each other in person! Their anniversary FB post is full of their best picture as a couple, professing their eternal love for the other and how lucky they are to have their partner. Duh! Did they actually say this to their partner in person? I bet you 99 out of 100 couples do not.

Have you also noticed a trend across the millions of friend FB feeds? They are all always so positive and happy! It seems that life has been really good to them and nothing ever happens in life which got them feeling low or down. FB is filled with only our best snaps, posts and status updates of how happy everyone is. No one talks about sadness or posts when they are down and need an actual friend. 

If we were to judge from FB feeds, the world is one happy place where no one gets sad and all the psychologists, therapists and life counselors are pretty much jobless! Is that reality?

Social networks, including FB are creating an illusionary, unrealistic and hyped up world, where everyone is happy, things always go as per planned and everything is perfect. Its driving the need for individuals to constantly feed wanted and 'liked', to be perfect in every way and to live a life online. Instead of connecting people it seems to be alienating them. Social skills are diminishing and we are more comfortable holding an online chat rather than a meaningful face to face conversation.

Seems pretty artificial doesn't it? 

I'd rather have one or two real friends over for coffee, sharing good stories and wholesome laughs than live in the world of Facebook and social networks. 

State of Human Affairs

Gracing the front page of Indian newspapers, these days, is a sad story of the suicide (read more) of former Miss Mauritius and top supermodel from India. Apparently she committed suicide as she was severely depressed. She joins the list of high profile and apparently 'popular' people who have chosen to end their lives in the recent years.

Makes me wonder what are we doing as fellow human beings? I am sure she must have had countless, so called, friends and buddies. Being a former beauty queen would have guaranteed easy attention in life. Then why are we humans prone to depression and loneliness even though we are surrounded by people? Is the individual to be blamed or are the real culprit the 'friends'?

Its easy to imagine why an individual can be lonely, can feel alienated or depressed even though they might have countless friends and even be very popular. The fact lies that its not the quantity of friends or family you have, but rather the quality of the relations that ultimately matter. One good friend or family can mean more than a hundred or even a thousand 'friends', friends who only care to be with you when you are happy or rich. In our race to success, we often forget to nurture the most important relations in our lives. These relations ultimately make us feel loved, secure and provide us with light in times of utter darkness.

Whats even more saddening to note is that we as friends often overlook or even neglect a human in need, even though we know that we should have gone and lent a helping hand. Sometimes just having someone who can hear you out makes a world of difference. I am sure the friends of this former model must have noticed that something is amiss, but did nothing. Why did they not do something sooner? Why did they let this happen to someone they knew? Is this why we are on this planet? To neglect fellow humans, even when we know we can help? Since when has making someone happy or lifting their sorrows become a bad thing?

Why do we not treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves? Old saying but how many of us actually follow it in our daily lives? When was the last time you sincerely tried to help someone, even though you did not know them very well but knew they needed help? Why are we so wrapped up in our own problems, in our own life that we fail to notice the life of the people around us?

Humans are social in nature. They cannot exist alone. No problem should become so great that it should lead anyone to suicide. Often it just takes a kind and caring human soul to fix someones life. 

Be that soul.

Corruption of the Human Mind

The human mind is perhaps the most powerful force we have in our possession. We have not even grasped 5% of its potential. Yet see the advances we have made in the recent century! If this is possible with 5% of our brains, imagine what we can do with 20 or 50%? Seems mind boggling!

Equally mind boggling is the way in which we treat our own mind. Have you ever stopped to consider the kind of thoughts you think or more importantly, the kind of thoughts you 'allow' yourself to think? Have you ever consciously taken control over what enters and what leaves your mind?

The mind is like a muscle. Train it well and it will grow strong and become very powerful. Neglect it or abuse it and it will grow weak and timid. Like all experienced body builders will tell you, the quality of training is more important than the quantity of training, so is it with the human mind. Feed it well and it will foster and grow. Abuse it and it will falter and grow weak.

Are you the kind of person who allows your mind to think or behave however it wants? Does your mind get influenced easily by your surroundings, your environment or the people around you? Is your mind easily attracted to negative and cheap thoughts, no matter whether they are targeted to others or to yourself? If yes, then its time you start taking better care of your mind. 

Imagine this, you are driving your car and have to stop at a traffic signal. Your windows are rolled down and you are enjoying the breeze. Just then someone walks up and raises his bag of trash, with the intention of dumping it in your car through the window. What would you do? Would you allow him to do it or would you just sit by and then curse him once he is done? I bet you would stop him before he can dump his junk in your car! If that's true, then why not with your own mind? Is that not your most prized and trusted asset?

Why do you allow anyone to walk up to you and fill your mind with utter rubbish? Why don't we stop such corruptions in their tracks, much before they can even enter our minds? Why do we allow continuously allow people, situations, our environment and at many times even ourselves to corrupt our mind?

Next time you catch yourself corrupting your mind, check yourself. Get rid of the rubbish immediately and make sure it never enters again. One weed can soon overwhelm your beautiful garden, if not removed immediately. Before you know it, it will dominate your mind and your life in ways you would never have imagined or would want to.

Fill your mind with positive and growing thoughts. Nurture it with thoughts of progress in all aspects of your life. Learn to control your mind and not let your mind control you.

Think beautiful, live beautiful.

Circle of Life

I was travelling by local train in Mumbai today, insignificant amidst the magnitude of the crowds which throng these trains daily. You have to experience this first hand to really understand what I am talking about!  Gazing at the faces of my fellow travellers, a thought struck me. Here we were, jam packed together like sardines in a can. Each one of the faces before me has a story to tell, a life gone past and a future dream in their heart. The faces might seem different, the people diverse and the unfamiliarity of each, distinct. Yet there exists a unity which is shared by each one of these travellers, in fact with each human on our planet.

Even though we seem so different to each other, we all have share the same basic flow of life. We share the same day, live similar lives and hold similar thoughts and dreams within us. You might be wondering how can a beggar live a similar life to that of a millionaire? I am not talking about the quality of life, rather the essence or nature of human existence and life per se. Does not the beggar share the same 'life' as the millionaire?  Don't they both think similar thoughts and share similar dreams. When they die, don't both want to be remembered and surrounded by loved ones? Do both not think of being happy? Yes, the magnitudes might vary, the creature comforts enormously different, yet in essence they both have a lot in common. That's what's called being human and living a life on this planet of ours.

We are each connected with our  parents, our spouse our children, our friends and family. This comprises our own personal 'circle'. This gives us a secure sense of belonging in this world. Yet, is this 'circle' not shared by everyone? Each of the faces before me have their own circles which are so distinct, yet so similar in nature. The relation of parents, children, family, friends and foe are shared by each human being, irrespective of who they are or what their religion or country. For example take two individual yet very different sets of parents. No matter how different they might be, seeing their children excel in something or happy is sure to make each parent proud. This unites us in ways in which we can never imagine. This is the bond which will always bind us as humans.

Every face shares a past, a present and a future. Each of us share failures, happiness, joy, ecstasies, sorrow, defeat, success in their own way. Distinct yet absolutely similar in essence. If you are a father, you have hopes of raising happy, content and successful children. You dream of providing with everything you had and more importantly, did not have when you were a child. You go to work to provide a good living for yourself and your family. We all come back home to the same relations, which are common to all. 

Each one of us has a desire to be happy, to be content and to be able to sleep in peace. We all strive to be financially sound so that we can take care of our self and our family. We have our passions, our desires and our dreams. So distinct yet so similar again.

The little joys of life, makes each one of us more happy than winning a lottery. These little moments are the moments we treasure in our hearts forever. I still remember the moment, when I first laid eyes on my  newborn son. That moment is permanently etched in my heart and probably the happiest moment of my life. Its these moments which unite us.

Next time you are amidst a group of people, look around and try to see beneath the exterior. You'll be amazed by what you see and feel a sense of oneness which cannot be explained. 

Oneness with the ultimate source of all energy and life on our planet.

Humans

Why are we humans on this planet? Why were we chosen to be humans rather than animals or birds? Is there a purpose for which we have been put on Earth? Or are we just a random act of nature, being a human just because of a matter of chance?

I believe that we are born as human beings with a specific purpose. How many of you, despite working 12 hours a day or earning millions of dollars annually, are not satisfied with your life? How many of you feel there is something missing in your life, on a deeper more personal level? Yet how many of us are truly focused on finding our own path in life? How many of us are working towards becoming the best individuals that we can become?

Most of us are too focused on other people, too inquisitive about what he or she is doing or what he or she should not be doing. We distrust people forgetting that trust is a personal matter in the first place. We cannot make anyone trust us, all we can do is be someone who can be trusted. Yet, many people abuse this privilege in the name of relations, in the name of love or simply because they themselves are not trustworthy.

I have seen and heard so many people say they love someone and that person is all that matters to them in this world. These are the same people who end up taking away more in the name of their love, rather than contributing through love. These are the people who are only focused on others rather than being focused inwards and striving to find their connection with their existence on this planet. Since they cannot look inward or connect with the limitless source of nature and god, they bind to another human through the connection they term as love.

Love is meant to foster both the receiver as well as the giver. Even as parents we often love our children in the wrong way. For many parents, their children are just a source of entertainment. They will make them dance, sing and perform strange antics in front of strangers just to have a good laugh. How would you feel if you as an adult, was made to do the same thing? Would it be that hilarious then? Is this your expression of love?

"I can give my life for you". How many people have you heard say this or know people who think such thoughts? I bet one too many. These are the same people who don't value life, who don't value the gift that they have been given. That's why they can give it away so easily. That's why these statements mean so much to them. Sad part is, they expect you to reciprocate with the same shallow statements and feelings. I would rather fill a person with more reasons to be alive than hope that he or she will give their life because of me!

Strange are the ways of men and women of our planet. We place trust where it should not be placed, we doubt at those who have given us their unconditional lives, we make the same people cry who make us laugh and we blame someone for no fault of theirs. We fight with the ones we love just so that we can be at peace our self. Just because we are human.

I am sorry, to me, being a human is much beyond all this. It is a matter of connecting within and with the ultimate source of all power in this universe. Its about being happy with yourself and what you are doing. Look into the mirror, into your soul before you look at what others are doing or not doing to you.

Find your peace and path yourself. Don't blame others for who or what you are or what you think you are. Remember, its your life. Only yours and no one else's.

There is no love

Does love truly exist? I mean 'true love' the way it is supposed to be? Judging from the people on this planet, I have come to believe it is merely a myth, like the lost city of Atlantis.

I was a firm believer in the power of the human mind and the power of unconditional love. Love in its truest form only knows how to give and not to demand. Love fills the world with happiness, beauty and energy. Love is supposed to bring a smile on your face, even when staring into the jowls of death. Love is like being connected with God, through a direct high speed link.

We humans are so overconfident, so full our ourselves that we fail to notice that we have turned love into a sin. A personal weapon that we use against the world and especially against the people we say we love. We no longer love, we just use it as an excuse to pump up our egos, to feel important and to show to the world that we are a caring human being. The love that we think we feel, allows us to put up a facade which shields the world from our true inner motive and self.

When we are in love, we say that we can die for that person. Seems so funny that we are willing to die for the one we love, but at the same time we mistrust them, make them cry and belittle them with our insignificant self centred thoughts and actions. All in the name of 'Love'.

The real sad part is that we have convinced ourselves that we are doing what we are because we love that person so much and its for their good. When is betrayal, mistrust, petty thoughts, tears, sadness good? When is it good to rob an individual of their peace and happiness? To steal a smile and replace it with tears?

Love is an excuse to feel important, to fill yourself with stolen energy and happiness. The next time you tell someone "I Love You" look deep within and see if you really mean it or is it just a weapon you use to gain power, to feel important and to be happy yourself. No matter what the cost to the other person or to the world. Think.